They Made the Ponies LESS SEXY

Written by meta.atheon, Art by wayhomme

Last week, the My Little Pony Company came out with their new trailer for the next season of the show, and viewers were treated with HORROR! They made the Ponies LESS SEXY!!!! They submitted to the woke mob, making them ugly so people won’t goon to them! They are trying to take our sources of gooning, and we will not have it!

This is one of the greatest travesties to happen to our great nation in all of its existence. The Sexiness of the Ponies was a cornerstone to keeping society in check. Without their sexy hooves, people around the country will lose their foot fetishes!

With the Ponies being ugly now, how will we be able to keep kids engaged long enough to learn that Friendship is Magic?! Kids will start to fight each other all over the country, causing problems for their schools, families, loved ones, and they’ll grow up to be CRIMINALS!!! Their sexy eyes were what kept people’s eyes trained on them, sitting on their sofas, at home, not doing crime! Criminals are ALREADY appropriating MLP, twisting into evil and illegal things, using it for codewords, turning MLP into DRUGS!!!

We must fight for our right to have sexy ponies and to stop these criminals from tainting these ponies!